Headlines I have collected

Ex-Marine, 72, Teaches Pickpocket a Lesson
New Jersey mutt wins ugliest dog crown in California
Judge rejects $54 million lawsuit over lost pair of pants
Millionaire, 84, died fleeing Harris probate court
Disney to scrap lucrative direct-to-DVD animated sequels
Is Earmark Disclosure a True Measure of Transparency? Actually the question is do we actually have a conservative or at least honest democrat?
Embattled Duke Rape Case Prosecutor Mike Nifong Could Get Jail Time
Senate Votes to Increase Fuel Economy Standards in Cars, SUVs
Sens. Hillary Clinton, Barbara Boxer Dispute Conversation About Reining in Conservative Talk Radio So who do you believe, a moderate/conservative republican or two flaming liberals
Prince William Turns 25, Gains Part of Diana's Inheritance Now the question is will he be king instead of his father, and who will he marry....
Bush Administration Opposes Making Immigration Bill Easier on Employers
Vatican Reverses Annulment of Ex-Rep. Joseph Kennedy's First Marriage
Computer Hacking Plagues Department of Homeland Security
County rescinds Westpark Tollway fee hike
Plan for new taxes on oil companies stalls
N.H. Town Hopes to End Standoff Between Police and Couple Barricaded in Home Since January
FOHacker Claims to Have Posted 'Harry Potter' Plot on Internet
Police Say Washington Baby Died After Mom Taped Pacifier in Infant's Mouth
The perils of carving a path to the Taliban's front door
Fireworks sales likely to blast off
Duke prosecutor testifies; ex-lacrosse player weeps

Comics of the Day

Beaurocrats at their best...

Strickland Georgia Prius fails emission test

Be careful who you attack

This is a great video please watch

Things I have found on Zipperfish.com

I have found a really outrageous site called Zipperfish. Now it is geared more towards a male audience but anyone can check it out. Here are a couple of links to games they have there which I know some of my friends over at Headshaker.com and LST.com would like. But they will also show what a sick sense of humor I have...

BTW the third one is for David and Matt.
Enjoy

My first news and Headlines of the new year

Sorry it has taken so long to drop another of these out there, but I have been really busy at work and home. Hope to get back on to a more regular schedule here this week.


Air Force Staff Sergeant Relieved of Duties After Posing Nude in Playboy Had to start with this news article

Michelle Manhart's my space page

U.S. Embassy in Athens hit by terror attack it was only a matter of time

North Korea Seeks Giant Rabbits for Meat Production to Alleviate Food Shortage Kill the wabbit.....

Five Iranians Seized by U.S. Troops in Iraq Remain in Custody do you see any reason to be nice to Iran with things like this happening?

Where Parents Favor Baby Boys to Girls, China to Have 15M More Men Than Women in 20 Years

Texas Republican Congressman Ron Paul Files Paperwork for 2008 Presidential Bid Maybe we can get some honest debate in the next election cycle

Democrats Choose Denver for 2008 Presidential Convention Most liberal town East of the Rockies and West of the Appalachains

Investors Sue to Block Former Home Depot CEO's $210 Million Severance Package If only we could sue professional sports teams for outrageous contracts.

Casino Mogul Wynn Sues Insurance Company After He Pokes $54M Hole in Picasso Painting Why should his clumsy act come out of our pockets

Will David Beckham Spark a Star Ad War in the U.S.? Who cares...

14 Carter Center Advisers Resign Over Former President Jimmy Carter's Book and this is important because...

Rare Turtle Turns Up in Thailand After Two Decades Where are the enviromentalist and their party

California State Panel Votes to Restrict Navy Use of Sonar This makes no sense

Texas High School Teacher Charged Under 'Peeping-Tom' Law for Videotaping Girls Wrestling look it is a Drama Perv... Sad...

FW: MAN RULES!!

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)We always hear "the rules" From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh

Funny Videos: Stupid Karate Guy

Funny Videos: This so called karate expert gets owned by a piece of wood. Then he blames everyone but himself.

This guy is the Freaking Funniest Guy Ever

For all of those fishermen out there...

humour blonde

Funny Blonde Video

Got to love the Brittish sense of humor...

You have to love Brittish Humor.

Dumb Blonde 2

Dumb Blonde1

Just plain Dumb

Watch "Kristina"

Cool video of a super-hot contortionists. She doesn't speak much English and she's pretty and flexible, what else do you need?

Lawyer argues sex with dead deer not crime

I am going to apologize to everyone in advance but this story is to good to pass up..... I'll leave the comments to your own sick minds....

Prosecution of a Douglas County case involving alleged sexual contact with a dead deer may hinge on the legal definition of the word “animal.”

Bryan James Hathaway, 20, of Superior faces a misdemeanor charge of sexual gratification with an animal. He is accused of having sex with a dead deer he saw beside Stinson Avenue on Oct. 11.

A motion filed last week by his attorney, public defender Fredric Anderson, argued that because the deer was dead, it was not considered an animal and the charge should be dismissed.

“The statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass,” Anderson wrote.

Judge Michael Lucci heard the motion Tuesday.

“I’m a little surprised this issue hasn’t been tackled before in another case,” Lucci said.

The Webster’s dictionary defines “animal” as “any of a kingdom of living beings,” Anderson said. If you include carcasses in that definition, he said, “you really go down a slippery slope with absurd results.” Anderson argued: When does a turkey cease to be an animal? When it is dead? When it is wrapped in plastic packaging in the freezer? When it is served, fully cooked?

A judge should decide what the Legislature intended “animal” to mean in the statute, he said. “And the only clear point to draw the line in that definition, I believe, is the point of death.”

Assistant District Attorney James Boughner said the court can use a dictionary to
determine the meaning of the word, but it doesn’t have to. “The common and
ordinary meaning of a word can be found in how people actually use the word,”
Boughner wrote in his response to the motion.

When a person’s pet dog dies, he told Lucci, the person still refers to the dog as his or her dog, not a carcass. “It stays a dog for some time,” Boughner said.

He referred to the criminal complaint, in which Hathaway told police he saw the dead deer in the ditch and moved it into the woods. Hathaway called it a dead deer, Boughner said, not a carcass.

“It did not lose its essence as a deer, an animal, when it died,” he said.
Anderson argued that the statute, which falls under the heading “crimes against sexual morality,” was meant to protect animals. That would be unnecessary in the case of a dead animal. “If you look at the other crimes that are in this subsection, they all protect against something other than simply things we don’t like or things we find disgusting,” he said. Other crimes in that subsection include incest, bigamy, public fornication and lewd and lascivious behavior. Boughner said the focus of the statute was on punishing the human behavior, not protecting animals.

“It does not seem to draw a line between the living and the dead,” he said. Interpreting the statute to exclude dead animals would also exclude freshly killed animals, Boughner said. That, he said, could lead to people who commit such acts with animals to kill them. Lucci said he would render a decision by Hathaway’s next court appearance on Dec. 1.

The misdemeanor charge carries a maximum penalty of nine months in jail and a fine of up to $10,000. If convicted, Hathaway could serve a prison term of up to two years because of a previous conviction. In April 2005, Hathaway pleaded no contest to one felony charge of mistreatment of an animal for the shooting death of Bambrick, a 26-year-old horse, to have sex with the animal

Sex with Dead Bambi's

Miller Lite Man Law Outtakes

Some hilarious outtakes from the commercials...Burt Reynolds and the Bus doing their best to keep it together

Blonde Star Commercial

A new service here in America, Blonde Star, similar to OnStar, but for our blonde people.

LST TLA list

Ok , for the past year or so I have been trying to keep my hands around the TLA's that are flying over at LST.... Well I finally have decided to get them down in print so here is the first draft and any and all additions are welcome...

• MMM™ Much Maligned Moderator - Usually reserved for Squawkbox Noise who participates in the discussions.
• BHH™ Brew Ha Ha - Official Lone Star Times social gathering. Usually organized by the CPO™. Good Times and friendships are forged at these events, and usually we have a cowbell.
• CPO™ chief party officer - the Official Title of Matt "Zilla" Bramanti and if you need more info than that you do not know Matt.
• YWWISMH™ You wonder why I shake my head - tag line of Headshaker resident blogger and middle of the road critic of both sides..
• NIGYSOB™ Now I Got You SOB - nasty comment sent to Moderator, or about other blogger
• LLWM™ Liberal Left wing Media - Enough said
• TIC­™ Tongue in Cheek
• SNJTD™ Smarmy New Jersey Truck Driver - one description of Smacktle, only one of many which can be posted in public, most cannot be repeated. He also is known as captain cowbell..
• ISMHLYKW™ - I Shake My Head Like You Know Who
• DOTI™ - Defender of the Indefensible - Courtesy of Headshaker. When someone stands up and tries to support something that is beyond reason or common sense...
• RINO - Republican In Name Only - Name for Republicans who more often than not side with the liberals in the legislature and fail to live up to the conservative platform. Both State and Federal republicans can be RINO's
• Eskimo Pie™ - The belief that things can be broken down into black and white solutions. hence making it as easy as Eskimo Pie....
• IAOCD™ - I am one confused Dude - The comment that drops when someone starts to spin a really twisted yarn.
• APWWITTWOTBL™ -And people wonder why I take the words of the Bible literally
• LSIG™ short for Lobbies and Special Interest groups, the bane of current Texas politics.
• TYSMIHA™ - Thank You Sir May I Have Another- The famous line Kevin Bacon utters in the Initiation Ceremony scene of Animal house.
• CAB™ - Crazy Assed Blondes enough said...
• LWOLST™ - Lovely Women of Lone Star Times - Description of those of the "more gentle sex" who visit LST. Not always the kind and gentle motherly figures, but good people...
• WLOLST™ - Wonderful Ladies of Lone Star Times - Different version of previous item
• YWWPTYAL™ - You Wonder Why People Think You’re a Liberal.
• ISMHLC™ - I shake my head like Clamspanker
• GILTTBAHS™ - Gee I Love to throw things back at Headshaker...
• NYKWHSHJ™ - Now You Know Why He Shakes His Johnson
• NCDTOD™ - neoconservative Debate Tactic of “Deflection”
• YNKYMGWYWF™ - you never know, you might get what you wish for.
• PODS™ - Practitioners of Double Standards
• EODS™ Enabler of double standards
• DLWM™ - Declining Left Wing Media
• AYWWTCYB™ And you wonder why they call you BushBots™
• LID™ Liberal in Denial
• YPOSAHMFBP™
• HSIAACAMM™
• YWWIANTLBSTLC™ --You wonder why I am not the least bit sympathetic to liberal causes
• YWWIDLTTR™-You Wonder Why I Don’t Listen To Talk Radio
  

Other Blog bylines...

• I’m never posting here again!™
• Period, end of story™
• Interesting™

Standard Blog TLA's and MLA's

• TTFN Ta Ta for now
• TTYL Talk to you later
• LOL Laughing out loud
  

good comics for today..